KaboomBP
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Name: KaboomBP
Country: Afghanistan
State: Jihad
Gender: Male


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Member Since: 4/13/2004

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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Bad Place

Do you ever feel in a bad place but don't know who to turn to because your problems are insignificant by comparison? I don't know if it's a product of never venting the things that really bother me, because lord knows I vent about things I don't really care about all the time. However sometimes I look at what gets me down and think, "Wow, thats really not that big of deal", but it still gets me really down.

I think I know why people have cats. Cats, despite being self sufficient most of the time in terms of bathroom/food, are very demanding in terms of attention. They like to sleep next to people, and they want to be petted a certain amount of the day, and specifically where they want to be petted. By contrast dogs like attention all the time, and appreciate any attention they get, but are perfectly content having fun by themselves. I find many of the most "self sufficient" people I know are cat people instead of dogs, and so I wonder if they too are crying out for attention but no one notices.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Hmm...

I sit here listening to MJ's Dirty Diana, This is It comes out on Wednesday. Its 3 am, I have to take Chloe for a hair cut tomorrow morning at 7:00 am. I'm a bit tired, but wanted to write something. I figured my anonymous viewers might enjoy an update.

I'll give a big update soon.

 


Friday, October 16, 2009

Oh dear lord

Either my hearts is about to explode or I have a xenomorph about to burst out of my chest.

 

Edit: it was definately my heart exploding.


Monday, October 12, 2009

Sunday

I..take it back. I didn't mean it.

.... It's just that...you left and I am here all alone

Why did you leave me? All I ever did was love you.

 

 

 

 

JK, that’s actually stolen from my forum, and not the least bit sincere. Thats a bit too emo for even my taste. Dare I say its a bit, gay. Like Mary Hay Gay.

 

 

 

So today is Sunday, what did I do? First I let known my displeasure of the amount of neglect my parents have been giving me, only to the mom though because the dad takes such criticisms personally. Then the bro and I went to see Zombie Land. I’m not good at giving in depth criticism to film so I’ll end it with “That’ll do pig”. After that on the way home the bro and I had a talk and essentially I tried to inform him that I am far more thoughtful and informed than those that don’t know me well give me credit for, and he was a nonbeliever. Dare I say from my attempt to prove this point, by burying any objections he had under a mound of my off the cuff but irrefutable logic, only served to irritate him. What can I say, he has an ego. Lastly I went out with the H+T crowd.

 

 

Oh and the bro told me a secret. I would never use it against him, but I feel assured that any preconception I ever had of him is justified, and I feel I know him as well as I ever have, but unfortunately he is still no closer to knowing me than he ever has been.

 

 

I ask myself, who knows me? My answer is 3 people. Maybe four. None of them blood. How many people know you, and does the answer make you a little sad?

 

 

If only we could be who we are all the time and end the charade.

 


Saturday, October 10, 2009

Friday

So on Friday I was awoken by a text message, "When did Obama win the Nobel Prize?”

 

So after a little investigation, a little internet venting/blogging, and then some frustrated texting I got up and ate breakfast: Frosted Mini-Wheats if you must know. I love them. Well I sort of left out a detail. I went to the bathroom first. My immobility and high water intake means when I wake up in the morning I really have to go. Drinking the night before increases this necessity. Its like Tom Hanks in “A League of their Own” with Gena Davis and Madonna, except constant. It makes me worry, “Can that be healthy”?

 

Then I considered working on my personal statement but didn’t, and before you knew it, the time was 2 o’clock and I had to go to physical therapy session. I’m kind of a pro at this now. Really I could go in there, do all my exercises without being told what to do, and save both the trainer and myself a lot of time. I wish they would let me, perhaps give me a discount, but I guess it doesn’t matter because unlike those 46 million losers out there I pay for my own damn health insurance, and so any bargain would only help my insurance company, and I don’t help BC/BS.

 

So I sat down with Kevin, he was a bit slow to start, not going to lie, it irritated me. I pay 20 bucks for that hour and my insurance pays the other $280 dollars, so I expect my moneys worth. So about 20 minutes late we start the initial diagnosis/assessment, and its good all things considered, still more pessimistic then I would like but in the medical field, hell it seems in all fields, people like to promise you nothing and deliver you something so they can be a hero. Then I get to work on my exercises. Despite the first session always being easiest in terms of work load, its also the one that leaves you feeling the worst. In fact I’m worried I might have hurt myself, will see if I’m still hurting on Tuesday when I go into to see Wade, even though he’s a douche. Good session overall, and Kevin kept me about an extra 30 minutes, so I felt a little bad for being angry about the initial late start. Still, would have been nice to simply start and end on time, I guy gets hungry you know.

 

 

Anyways, came home, had some food, talked some smack on the interwebs, herbed some noobs, and obsessively hit the refresh button on my email accounts hoping someone, anyone would respond to my incessant spamming of their social network sites. See I always assumed you have to give some in order to get some, pretty sure I heard that in a Spike Lee movie, and I always credited that for my less than noteworthy social networking life. My creed could be summed up as “Those who don’t leave messages don’t get messages”, but it seems that isn’t the case, because believe me, lately I’m a giver.

 

So I sit here, in a house where a dog gets more attention than I do, counting the days (17) until my freedom is returned to me, but at the same time aware that freedom isn’t really the problem. I assumed I had shed myself of certain preconceptions of the world and those around me that were causing me constant disappointment, but apparently I was wrong as I am still dissatisfied with it all. I thought I could get by simply being selective in who I chose to apply what was left of my standards to, but even that had disappointing results. I can’t very well go around telling everyone they are crazy and expect them to conform to my standards can I? I must simply trim them down some more.



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